Precious Evie

It has been 2 years since Evie was with us. I will say this year has been the hardest. My "numbness" has worn off and reality has completely set in. We had so many distractions last year with moving,  being pregnant, Reese being born and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
You have probably noticed I don't talk a lot on the blog anymore. I am struggling so much more with losing Evie. I am doing more counseling and using other ways to help me deal with this. I have decided to be more private in this area and no longer use the blog as my outlet. I have decided to go back to the reason I started the blog and that is for a baby/life book for the girls to have when they are older and for me to remember what we did.
I have thought about not blogging anymore all together. I don't care to do it most days and when i do have time, i just want to get it done to have it in the book. So this blog will be more on the surface and just about what we are doing.  Please feel free to still read if you like but don't expect too much from me your mainly going to be looking at pictures :)

We originally wanted to just spend the day as a family and go to Evie's garden and decorate a Christmas Tree for her. My best friend Hayley said they would love to do that with us if we would like so I asked Ramsey what she wanted. If she said no we wouldn't do it. She got really excited and she said i want my friends there and then she said, Addie, Ella, Lola, Charlie, Hudson, Riley and Garland. So that is exactly who we asked to come.

They were so sweet and it was perfect. 

They did such a wonderful job and having all of Ramsey's best friends and their parents there helped me so much. Ramsey was so happy and that helped so much too, she's amazing.

 I am so thankful God placed these sweet children in Ramsey's life. 

They had a great time but most important, Ramsey did. 

Ramsey can get very shy and overwhelmed. I think back to her 2nd birthday. I selfishly wanted all our friends to be there because I needed them there. We were so blessed to have so many people come to her party and show so much love and support. However, Ramsey shut down completely and i don't think she had a good time at all. I realized that and decided that it really needs to be about her and I need to consider her feelings. She was going through so much, obviously but I didn't even realize because she couldn't talk or express her self and I was grieving and in a different state as well. Now that she can express herself and talk, I see what an impact all of this has had on her. 

I want her to start having ideas of her own on what she wants to do to remember Evie.

Decorating the tree was a perfect idea and it made her really happy.

Didn't they do a great job?!