Baby Max

We had a baby shower for our friend Amy on Saturday!

We had a great time and she got some great stuff for sweet Max.

We had some yummy food for the shower and i told some people i would post the recipes so once i get them all together i will do that!

Max's beautiful mom and grandmothers

Hostesses

My friend Emilee makes such sweet diaper cakes!

Lindsey should open her own cupcake place, these were so good!

I ordered the invite and cupcake toppers from Dimpleprints

Amy is the best gift opener!

She was so excited about everything :)

Amy's nieces helping her open gifts

Please continue to pray for Amy ,Tyler and Max.

Amy is almost 32 weeks which is wonderful. Click on her name up top and it will take you to her blog. You can follow with them on their journey!

School Pictures

We just got Ramseys school pictures and she looks so cute!

She looks so grown up!

Look how much she has grown

Fall 2010

Sweet Evies School picture from the fall

I sure miss my sweet baby

Monkeying Around

Mom and i took Ramsey to the zoo on Friday. It is already pretty hot in Memphis or it was Friday so we might not be going to the zoo much this summer!

Ramsey talked about the Panda Bears the whole way down there but wasn't really interested in the animals when we got there. She just liked to walk around pushing her stroller and riding the carousel. All of the animals were out and being pretty playful

The Polar Bar was so funny, he kept doing the same routine over and over.

He was my favorite :)

This was Ramsey's favorite. Every time she rides a carousel she has quite the little meltdown and doesn't usually want to get off. So this time i thought if i told her ahead of time it would prevent it so i kept telling her "when the ride stops we have to get off and we aren't going to get upset...ok? She would say ok but i figured she would still get upset. She tuned up a little when it was about to stop and i reminded her that she said ok and we had to get off and she stopped. It was like magic.. ha . At least this time it worked, but she is 2 so maybe not next time :)

Tigerbears!

This is what Ramsey says when we go watch the grizzlies or tigers play basketball. I think it confuses her that the play at the same place so she combined them.

Hippos are so funny to me

isn't he cute ?!

We finally made it to see the Panda Bears

summer dayz

Do you remember in college when we used napster to download music and burn them to cds? I did all the time and i had different ones and there were titled summer dayz, relax boyz etc. for some reason i ended all of them in z...jonathans friends made fun of me...imagine that.

With all that being said i wish i had those cds for days like today. After school Ramsey and i played in the backyard with the water hose and a little pool and just had fun, old school style. I taught her how to drink from the water hose ( i don't think kids do that anymore), blew bubbles and enjoyed a beautiful day. I even played with my camera, which i enjoy doing. I have a lot of learning to do but i was excited about how these turned out. The only editing i do is what is on iphoto on my computer, cropping, changing the color and stuff like that.

keeping her glasses clean, i think she learned this from claire this week :)

My favorite!

I love how changing it to black and white makes it so much better

Antique looks pretty good to

then good ole fashioned original

I am slightly obsessed with the aperture on these

dont freak out...Ramsey does not have a busted lip

she was just using the WORST bubbles invented ever...

Crayola color bubbles in pink flamingo

I gave her the bubbles to use and i was rinsing out the pool and talking to my friend Meredith then i turn around and this is what i see!! It stained the patio and her body!

She was so mad at me when i took them from her, threw them in the trash, then had to spray her down with the hose.

Don't buy them :)

old school bubbles are the way they should stay!!

Seagrove Beach Day 9

Our last day :(

We got everything packed up them headed down for our last day at the beach.

*NOTE*

If i had known we were staying and extra day i would have bought Ramsey another bathing suit...it was so hard to put her in the same one twice...you think i'm kidding

She loved jumping off this ledge..over and over..

So i taught her how to stick her landing..

Then she wanted daddy to do it..

Then it was time for a break..

We had a wonderful trip and i would live at the beach if Jonathan would let us!

Seagrove Beach Day 8

Our anniversary!

Jonathan and i were married May 14th 6 years ago!

We were originally leaving Saturday morning to go home but decided to stay through the weekend and leave Sunday afternoon.

Luke was feeling much better and back to his happy sweet self :)

Ramsey was a daddys girl today and they walked up and down the beach, today was the day she kissed the minnows... glad i wasn't there.

Saturday was a difficult day for me. The days come and go, i don't really know what happens to make one day better than another but today seemed to have more emotion than even Mothers day. I was quite most of the day and easily angered towards Ramsey if she acted a certain way. I struggle with this the most. Some days if i really miss Evie i have less patience with her. I think it had a lot to do with thinking back to our wedding day. When you are dating and even engaged, you have this vision for your life. I remember always saying we will be married two years and then have a baby and then have another one and we have always wanted 3 or 4 kids so you vision that and nothing will go wrong.

You say your vows, for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health while in the back of your mind you think the positive of each. You think it will be a perfect white picket fence life. That was my vision at least. we got pregnant very quickly after two years of marriage and of course i thought nothing would happen then we miscarried and in that moment my vision for our life had completely changed. Then we were pregnant again and like i have said before we got to 10 weeks and i thought it would be perfect. Then Catherine Grace was born to her heavenly father instead of us, again i thought, there goes what i had visioned, this is not how it is supposed to be. Then we found out we were pregnant with the girls.Finally, Evie and Ramsey came home and i thought now things can only be for better, wrong again, we are back to worse.

All day i thought about our wedding day and what we have been through in the past 6 years, i was moping at how bad i thought we had it. This is not where i thought we would be 6 years ago. I do this and i get angry with God, i question his love for me and i become more and more negative and i let everything build up. Ramsey refused to go down to the beach and take pictures, she was kicking and screaming, she wanted to walk on the boardwalk and go up and down the stairs...see pictures below..
This girl is uncontrollable at times and in the middle of her meltdown, i lost it. We tried to get a picture of me and Jonathan and he said happy anniversary and i couldnt hold it in any longer..Happy Anniversary..whats happy about it. This isn't what our life was supposed to be like. Ramseys crying, i'm crying. I wanted Evie to be there to be my breath of fresh air to calm me down and she wasn't. I haven't had a breath of fresh air in 5 months. Finally, Ramsey snapped out of it and started running around and laughing and i see the bright orange sunset and the beautiful ocean that looks like it runs into the sky and i couldn't help but think, this is what heaven will be like. The perfect white picket fence life where this sunset and ocean don't even compare and with my four babies i always wanted and everyone i love for eternity. Were everything will be for richer and for better and in health. Finally i snapped out of it too. Each day further away from Evies death is a day closer to her for eternity, how refreshing is that.

The song There Will be a Day from Jeremy Camp kept playing over and over in my head. There will be a day with no more tears, no more fears, where the burdens of this place will be no more and i will see Jesus and my babies face to face. But until that day i will hold on to God always.

If you read my blog and are not a christian or do not have a relationship with Christ, i encourage you to seek him. If i did not have a relationship with him i have no idea if i would have snapped out of it. What do you have to look forward to if you don't have the promise of heaven. This world is nothing in comparison to what is waiting for you in heaven for eternity.

I do look fwd to the next 6 years with Jonathan and it was a Happy Anniversary. God put the two of us together for a reason. I can not imagine getting through the worse with any body else. I know that the worse is not over. There will still be heartache in our future but i have a wonderful Godly husband to get through it with, to guide and direct us in the path we should go and i look forward to it to spending it with him til death do us part.

You can't stay mad at this ball of sweetness for long.

Chris and Claire kept Ramsey and we went to eat at V Seagrove. It has only been opened 8 weeks and it was packed. We waited over and hour but did some good people watching. I felt a little out of place, it has a very Miami feel to it. We had a great time just the two of us, talking and laughing. We haven't done that in a long time. The manager sent us some champagne for our anniversary!

So i would recommend this place as well, i mean they bring you a zebra snuggie...

It was a little chilly and i thought the waitress was kidding when she asked me if i wanted one. She certainly wasn't! I was so excited :)

Seagrove Beach Day 7

Today was overcast and windy so we spent a lot of time at the pool.

I am trying to convince Ramsey to jump in.

She would say "go fis way" then she would run the other way, go up and down the stairs some then come back and try to jump in.

I finally convinced her to do it by saying you can do it over and over

then she did!

And we swam back to the steps. I kept telling her to kick and splash but she kept her whole body still...maybe we should get swimming lessons this summer!

We thought we had left the flooding in Memphis but it rained so hard Friday night and flooded outside Red Bar where we ate dinner! The boys were drenched going to get the cars.

Red Bar is always so crowded but it is such a fun place with great atmosphere. Evie and Ramsey loved the music last fall and ramsey danced in the booth the whole time this year. I have some cute videos i will have to post!