1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Rejoice always, pray continually,

give thanks in all circumstances,

for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus."

Isn't God funny? I tend to think so sometimes.

I have been harping about the holidays and literally wrote my last post and then headed to hear Lysa Terkeurst at Central Church and what did she speak about you ask... Exactly what i needed to hear to get me through the holidays and missing Evie one year later.

I never heard of her before but she has written several books and is a wonderful speaker. How someone can speak for over an hour with no notes and doesn't lose my attention is beyond me.

Everything she spoke about spoke to me.

She said that God's will can be God doing three things for us:

God's Protection, Provision and Process

I have to know that God was protecting Evie by taking her to be with him. Protecting Evie from something painful or harmful. Isaiah 57 "...no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from Evil".

We know that Evie did not suffer, we know she fell asleep and woke up with Jesus, there was no crying there was no long suffering in the hospital. She went to be with the Lord the most peaceful way possible. Could God have been protecting her from something worse? I have to think so. I have been told this a million times, but in reality Evie had a great life. She was loved and everything was done for her, she never had to experience true pain, true heartache, she never knew the ugliness of this world. God's protection for sure. She went straight to a place where there is no pain, no sickness, no crying.

God's provisions could be providing something better for her. We go through trials and we wonder why God didn't allow us to win something or make a certain sports team ,etc. We have to think that there is a reason and we have to think that it is because he has something better waiting for us around the corner. Obviously, Heaven for Evie is better than this world. It is hard for me to think that God took Evie and now he has something better for me. I can't grasp that exactly and of course this doesn't have to pertain to me but i know for her this is true.

Our suffering could be just a part of his Process, a way of growing us and teaching us perseverance. "Finish the Race" as Evie's shirts say on them. For me, i have been through something i never thought i could actually survive through. If you had told me a couple years ago that I would bury my daughter, my thoughts would be, there is no way i could handle that, there is no way i would survive that. Yet here we are. We "survived" it, technically, every day is a struggle for us but we have to stay strong and persevere, especially for Ramsey.

I have three choices to make this holiday season

to Rejoice Always

to Pray Continually

to Be Thankful

I have to rejoice in the Lord for he is Good, Jeremiah 29:11 " For i know the plans i have for you declares the Lord,plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I have to remember to Pray, pray for strength and just continue to have a relationship with him. I have struggled to pray since Evie died, i have been angry and then i feel guilty and feel like i can't go to God with a problem or ask him for something because i just yelled at him, but that is what is so great about him. You can come to him with anything! I have to remember that.

I have to remember to be thankful. Thankful to God for giving me Evie, thankful for the most amazing 20 months of my life because of her, thankful for Jonathan and Ramsey and thankful for this baby we will meet soon.