Mom also got one that says l love you, and Ramsey picked that one to send to sissy.
Valentines Kisses
i miss my Evie
I love you balloon
This one did not get stuck in the tree this time, so that was good!
We could actually see this one for several minutes after we let it go, good choice Ramsey!
My mom and Rob and Amber stayed with Ramsey and Jonathan and i went to Buckleys for dinner. It was nice to go to dinner just the two of us, we haven't done that in a long time. We talked about Evie most of the time and how we still just cant believe it. We ache for her all the time. Ramsey has been extra fussy lately, i am sure she is getting into the terrible twos but at the same time how am i supposed to know if she is aching for her sister too? She can't sit at dinner and tell us her thoughts but she has to be heartbroken. Her world was completely turned upside down. All she knows about life is Evie, they have literally been with each other their whole lives, even when i was pregnant with them they were together. I just wish i knew what she was feeling. Is she confused? is she angry? Does she really know her sister isn't coming back? We watched her on the monitor the other night and she sleeps with the pillow that our friend gave us and the other night she was holding it saying its okay sissy and rubbing it with her hand then said night night sissy and covered her with her blanket, it broke my heart. I just don't know what to do for her, i hope i am not missing something or doing anything wrong. If anyone has a thought, please share :)I will leave you with some adorable Valentine babies that will surely put a smile on your face!!
Mason James was born on Valentines Day
He is so sweet i could just eat him up
Harvey Leland was born on Sunday!
Isn't he precious?!
The weather has been perfect the past few days and its just going to bet better! I am ready for Spring! We had school today then meet Hayley, Charlie, Garland, Erica and Hudson at the park. Ramsey has grown up so much, she can do everything by herself! She loves the slide!
I think you are an amazing mom. One day Ramsey will be able to look back at this blog and see how much love you have for the two of them and that is the best gift you can give her!
ReplyDeleteHi Alicia. I found your blog through Kelly's Korner in December and have been praying and obsessing over your family ever since. My son, Zach, is 20 mos today. I cannot imagine your pain. I wish I could give you a big hug and I wish it wasn't true that Evie is gone. I think you are doing great with Ramsey. It is sooo hard at this age. I struggle with knowing what Zach wants and he is so frustrated because he can't tell us yet his thoughts. I wonder sometimes if he's sick or hurt or just throwing a fit. It's hard to know. You have shown such strength and character carrying on for Ramsey. I'll will pray for wisdom and insight in parenting Ramsey while letting her grieve. Cut yourself some slack though with her because seriously it is frustration and meltdown central at my house.
ReplyDeleteBless her sweet heart. I think about your guys often and say a prayer, for all of you, but especially sweet Ramsey. I can't imagine how hard it would be for her, not being able to tell anyone what she feels. It sounds like ya'll are doing a great job with this awful situation. My only thought is to maybe see if you can find a child parapsychologist to talk to. They might would have some great tips.
ReplyDeleteI still can't believe that Evie is gone either. I know that you are doing an amazing job, Alicia. Ramsey is lucky to have such a great mom (and dad:) I have and will continue to pray for all of you- especially sweet little Ramsey. I know this is a tough age to understand their thoughts and feelings, and I just cannot imagine how hard that is an all of you.
ReplyDeleteLove you guys and am glad that you have been able to get out and enjoy the warmer weather- we have been doing the same!
I also found your blog through Kelly's Korner. I visit your blog and pray for your family almost daily. This post breaks my heart for you. I have never been through anything like this, but it sounds to me like you are doing everything the best way possible. I am so sorry for your devastating loss.
ReplyDeletePraying, praying for you...and that God would cover you, and guide you through each day. All I can see from your blog and words is an amazing mother, wife, friend...AMAZING! I have something special I would love to send you. If you would send your address to me - amysweet@cox.net.
ReplyDeleteThis breaks my heart to read about how you heard Ramsey talking on the monitor.
ReplyDeleteWhat if you prayed scripture over Ramsey, before you put her to bed, in the morning, in the afternoon...when she's feeling fussy, and included her name in the scripture.
Example -
"You number Ramsey's wanderings;
Put Ramsey's tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?
When Ramsey cries out to You, then her enemies will turn back;
This I know, because God is for Ramsey....
In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid.
Psalm 56:8-11
That's just a scripture I found, but I know there are a lot on comfort that you could pray over her, and allow God to comfort her and give her peace.
YOU amaze me. I wish I could hug you through the computer!
Oh, Alicia!I just sat at the computer and cried and cried...pulling myself together to tell you that I am praying for you all.
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing mom, and you are doing a great job!! You know Ramsey so well, and I am praying for God to give you and Jonathan specific wisdom as to what she needs. God designed her and knows her every need and want and tendency and hurt and desire...AND He chose you to parent her, so I know He is giving you wisdom as you seek Him. I love your sweet, tender heart and your humility and selflessness. I don't know how you walk a little one through this loss, while also trying to grieve yourself.
There are so many times that I have looked at your pictures since Evie went to be with Jesus, and thought, "No, Lord...is it really for real? Is she really gone?" My heart has breaks for you, and I am so burdened to pray for all of you.
Sweet Alicia,I think it is wonderful that you guys had a picnic with Evie. I think you are such an amazing woman and mom, same goes for Jonathan! Both of your girls were blessed to be born to you too. You are doing such a good job with Ramsey. She is going to look back on these days when she is older and read your blog and say, "Wow...my parents were so strong for me. I love them so much!"
ReplyDeleteSo sweet to have a picnic with at Evie's garden. Ramsey sounds like she is grieving in her own little way. I am crying to reading your blog and thinking of your family!
ReplyDeleteAlicia, you/y'all are doing a wonderful job. I think grief (and disbelief) of this magnitude takes the remainder of a lifetime to process. Ramsey is very lucky that she has a loving -- and creative!! -- family to love and care for her. I draw encouragement from each of your daily or weekly posts. Thank you for sharing this little piece of your life with us. ~ Melanie (Josh's step-mom!).
ReplyDeleteI also don't know you personally but have been crying out in prayer for your family.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever heard of this blog: http://www.thewhitts.com/half12/
Don't know them either but they have twin girls and lost one to cancer about two years ago. Maybe you could contact their family for advice and what to expect.
I will pray.
Summer Lashley
You are amazing, Alicia. You are doing everything you can- loving Ramsey, living life with her and being there for her. I think it is wonderful and so selfless of you to continue doing things with Ramsey and being there fully, so you make sure she doesn't "lose" her parents, too. I can't imagine ever having the strength you have.
ReplyDeleteI have been checking in periodically since Kelly posted on her blog and my heart aches for you. To have to deal with your own pain and then add the uncertainty of knowing how to help a two year old cope is beyond my comprehension. I cried imagining Ramsey cuddling and talking to her pillow like it was Evie. I know that must have been heartbreaking to watch.
ReplyDeleteKnow that you are doing what is best for Ramsey. Loving her and helping her keep the memory of her sister alive.
I found your profile in December and I have been checking up on your family and praying for you ever since. Your posts bring me to tears every time I read them. I want you to know the impact little Evie has had on my life (and so many others, from what i'm seeing). I hold my babies so much closer every day and thank the Lord for even the frustrating times with them. I wish I could scoop up little Ramsey in a big hug. When I think of your little family and how I accidentally came across your story, this bible verse comes into mind:
ReplyDeletePhillipians 1:3
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
I always thank God for the reminder to hold my babies tight, I am amazed at your faith in this difficult time, I know God is using your family and Evie's story to touch so many lives, I know God will carry on his plan for your family until the day Jesus returns. My prayers will continue flowing for your sweet family, especially little Ramsey.
From a far away friend,
Shayna
ps, do you possibly have a P.O. Box that you would feel comfortable giving out? I would like to send Ramsey a special birthday present. :)
ReplyDeleteAlicia,
ReplyDeleteI don't know you (I found your blog off Kelly's Korner) but I am praying for you every day. My heart aches so much for your loss.
I do not know you but have been praying for you and your family and thinking of you often. Your love and security is what Ramsey needs and you are doing wonderful. I am amazed at your strength and faithfulness. I would constantly pray scripture over sweet Ramsey - scriptures of comfort and peace. I just wanted to write you a note of encouragement. Will continue to pray
ReplyDeleteAlicia, i am sure you are doing everything right for your sweet girlie... although i dont know you i continue to lift you, your hubby and your little sweetie up in prayer. you are such a strong & amazing mother. praying for wisdom for you.
ReplyDeleteAlicia, you are a very stronge person inside and out! I am so sorry about evie! It just breaks my heart about what happen! And I just love reading you blogs on how strong you are and how your handleing things! I don't have kids but I think of yours often! Ramsey is the sweetest little girl! And maddie she is just too cute! I'm so glad she got to go to the P.A.R.K lol that's great you have to spell it! Your always in my prayer!
ReplyDeleteHey Alicia,
ReplyDeleteI was forwarded your blog in december in a prayer chain. I prayed for you and tried to imagine the loss. I have a 21 month old boy, Bailey. We live in Jackson, MS.
My husband passed away in a car accident December 29th. I have been struggling with those same feelings you described. Bailey asks for his daddy everyday. How do you explain it? Am i saying the right thing? Is he angry? is he anxious? He has been so fussy lately, I am worried he is just stressed out.
I know we don't know eachother, but we are both Christians, dealing with grief, and trying to comfort our confused babies. If you ever want to talk or support eachother please let me know. I will continue to pray for you and your sweet little girl.
Wendy Bryant
wendyebryant@gmail.com
wendyandmartin.blogspot.com
I ran across your blog, while looking at my soon to be "Evie's" name online... I have a
ReplyDelete2 1/2 year old son and am expecting in June. Every part of me feels that God led me to your blog, and while feeling my Evie kick.. I read of your Evie and Ramsey. "Ramsey saying night night, it's okay sissy" is only a reminder of how deeply beautiful and honest children are. I can only imagine how this would feel, if it were my Kade.. and how angry and sad you would be. BUT I know the lord is your comforter and is Ramsey's too, he alone will protect her heart and you as her mother deserve to know she will be fine :) it is an honor to name my sweet girl Evie, for I will always remember your's.. God's Blessings for your family and the wonderful memory of Evie