Sweet and Sassy

That would describe Ramsey pretty well :)

Jonathan found a groupon for a "makeover" at sweet and sassy so i took Ramsey and she loved it! Sometimes i am not sure how she will react, she gets embarrased sometimes and is shy but she was all about it.

Getting her hair done. 

She picked the Princess updo of course :)

 Of course i got talked into buying some "extras", i am such a sucker!

 so happy

 Nails
She picked purple

 lipstick
She picked hot pink

Eyeshadow

She picked blue to match her crown, smart girl :)

Checking herself out. She couldnt stop staring at herself in the mirror!

Even while she was dancing, ha!

looking at herself again :)

This is what surprised me the most! While she was getting her stuff done she said she wanted to dance. If you know Rams at all you know how shy she is and gets embarrased really easily so i was so shocked when she wanted to dance. They put on music for her and she worked the runway and did this for about 30 minutes!

What's for dinner?

Reesey Cup Edition :)

We started Reese with rice cereal and she loved it. I thought oatmeal might be better for her belly and more nutritious so i switched over. I gave it to her before church one Sunday and she threw up several times that day. I didnt think about it being the oatmeal at all until i gave it to her again a few days later and she did the same thing. I gave her a couple days then switched back to rice cereal and she threw up several times after that. So we are taking a break from all of it. Maybe she is allergic? or maybe she just isnt ready for solids. I dont know why she did okay with it for two weeks though and now has a problem? 

Anyway i had already gone to the Farmers Market to get fruit and veggies to start making her food before all this happened. 

All of this for $12!

 I decided to go ahead and make everything and then after her 6 mth checkup and talking with her doctor we can slowly start foods again.

So we bought the Baby Brezza Prima and it was money well spent!

and a cookbook :)

 So i sliced and diced all those fruits and veggies and all you have to do is put it in the machine, turn to the food you are making and walk away. 

It does it all for you!

and there you have it! 

It was so fun! I was up until midnight finishing it up, ha!

So for $12 i made Reese 8 ice cube trays of food, approximently 120 servings! That would have cost me around $60 if i bought it all from the store! Even better, its fresh and better for her.

Now lets hope she can eat it and keep it down!

The Journey

Jonathan's brother sent us a sermon from his church about the journey of grief. My friend Molly also talked about it on her blog. I just listened to it during nap time and it was so beneficial to me and I know it will be for those in the same boat as me, so i wanted to share it.

He says grief is necessary and healthy and gives us ways to grief in a healthy way. He gives us the the do's and don'ts when helping someone cope with grief. He also states that grief is not predictable or progressive. He just made me feel so much better, made me feel like i was "normal" if that makes sense.

If you are grieving or have a friend or family member who is, click here to listen!

Beautiful

We had 20 beautiful months with our sweet Evie. I got an extra 32 weeks with her in my belly :)
Today marks 20 months since Evie went to Heaven. Its amazing how time goes on when somedays you wish it would just stand still or you wish you could go back. If you read my blog you know i love to look back at pictures, i love pictures in general. I have so many wonderful memories in my head but unfortunately they are starting to fade. I enjoy watching videos and looking at the pictures to remind me of things about her i have forgotten or just don't think about on a daily basis. Ramsey loves looking at them and they will allow her to remember Evie. I decided to do a tribute to my little girl by posting 1 picture from each month we were blessed to have her in our lives.

March 2009

Happy Birthday!!

 April 

 May

 June

 July

 August

 September

October

 November

December

January

February

March 

Happy 1st Birthday!

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

Isn't she beautiful?
The closer i got to December the heavier my chest got.
However, to see how happy she was in the last pictures helps me to remember just how blessed we were to have her even if it was for just a short time.
Did you know Evie means Life? How fitting.

5 months

Reese, you are 5 months old!

What a month it has been! Your little personality is coming out. You are so smiley and starting to laugh some which is such a sweet sound. You are still a talker and very loud. 

You love exploring new things and grabbing everything in sight! Your big eyes are always wide open staring at everything. We pulled out the exersaucer and you play with all the little parts like its your job! You haven't rolled over yet but enjoy being on your belly.

 You weren't making any noise so i didn't know you were awake, I turned on the monitor and this is what you were doing! You love your feet!

You are doing so much better falling asleep on your own. I got in the bad habit of nursing you to sleep for naps. I knew I had to stop that so now I rock you for a little bit and then lay you in the bed awake and you finally fall asleep without crying! That was an accomplishment! 

My favorite thing you do is when I get you from your bed, you smile sooo big at me it just melts my heart. I pick you up, you grab my face with your right hand, bury your head in my neck and grab my arm with your left hand. I think you are trying to give me a big hug! I love how affectionate you are! When I'm holding you, you do the same thing. You grab my face and give me big open mouth kisses on my chin, you are probably just using my chin to scratch your gums but its so funny and makes me laugh!
You are still a distracted eater and love peace and quiet while your nurse. You eat best right when you wake up in the morning and your last feeding after your bath. You started waking up at night the week I got home from my girls trip. It has been a tiring few weeks! We started cereal and you eat it up and that helped a lot! We give it to you for breakfast then before your bath. You slept from 9-8 Sunday night! Thats more like your old self!

We are finally getting on somewhat of a schedule. You wake up anywhere between 7-8, nurse, then fall back asleep for another hour. We play for about 2 hours, nap 2 hrs then eat/play/sleep again. You usually get one good 2 hr nap then the rest of the day your other naps are around 1 hr. If we are out and about you just take cat naps in your car seat.

You are growing too fast and have grown out of so many clothes :( Your hair is soo much lighter, almost a light brown/blonde. Your eyes are getting darker and are a light brown around the pupil and then blue on the outside. I wonder if you will have your daddy's Hazel eyes?

 Ramsey loves you so much and loves to tickle you, gets right in your face and rubs your hair. She calls you Reese Collins. She is big on full names these days!
You have several nicknames: cup, reeser, reesey, reester ( Ramsey is rooster)

I went to my doctor last week and Reese made the board of babies! I also don't think I ever posted the announcement. Beth as always helps me think of good wording and I love how it turned out! This is also my favorite pic Ashleigh took!

We love you Reese!

Smile

Evie reminded me to smile today. 

I grabbed a onesie from Reese's drawer and this one was on top. I immediately thought of a picture i had with Evie wearing the same shirt and couldn't help but smile.

Reese was smiley today too :)

Thank you for all of your encouragement and comments. I was reminded why it is good to let it all out. You realize how many people are behind you and praying for you, so thank you!

Rutt

I had an entire post written then deleted it. I have done that so many times. It is much easier to throw some pictures on here and be done. Its much harder to write my true thoughts. I always think about others and if i would offend someone or if someone would be upset to find out my thoughts on my blog and not in person. I always reread them then just delete them. Maybe that alone is helpful to me. Sometimes i just need to vent but not everyone has to know my thoughts all the time. A blog is so open and i have been like that since Evie died but i guess i am just going back into my shell. I know that's not good.
To sum it all up its been one of those weeks. Reese has been waking up a lot at night, I had a root canal, Jonathan went out of town for the weekend. My dads uncle passed away so Thursday was spent celebrating his life with family and seeing and meeting cousins we haven't seen in years.
I met with a sweet girl who lost her son and we talked for a couple hours and told our stories. It was nice to talk with someone who can relate to you. I left sad for her and thinking so much about Evie. I finally listened to her funeral service this week. That was hard to do. Jonathan listens to it a lot since he is in his car for work, but i have been unable to do it. It was almost like an out of body experience. It was so weird to hear it but i could see myself sitting there and i just thought about that day. I also went back through some posts that i wrote after she died and it didn't even seem like it was me writing them. I was so encouraged and seemed "ok" and strong. Now, that is just not the case. We are coming up on 20 months since she has been gone. Thats how long she was with us and i just cant get over it.
I am trying to be a good mom to Ramsey and Reese. I am short with Ramsey and Nala puts me over the edge, a lot! So thats where i am. Maybe its the fact that it is so hot outside. Literally being out there for a second puts me in the worst mood! We need to get back in a routine i guess.