Christmas Decorating

Well I finally finished decorating the house. We did a lot of things different this year. We have always gone and gotten a real tree but i couldn't do that this year. We don't want to break tradition for Ramsey but we decided we could start a new one. We bought a fake tree and Jonathan got a small real one for Evie's Garden. We decided Ramsey could pick one out each year, we could take it there and she can decorate it while we are there.

Decorating was ok until i would pull out things that reminded me of Evie but it brought back good memories and i am glad i have those. If you know me at all i am a perfectionist if you will when it comes to decorating and doing things like that. I got caught up in it and in a way that helped me get it done without really thinking about anything else.

I decorated the bottom the same as last year with ornaments Ramsey can play with and some special ones her and Evie made at school and church.

Notice my little maddie dog sitting to the right :)

There are several special ornaments on our tree that people gave us last year for Evie.

Michael painted this one of our old house. It is even more special to us now.

Evie made this ornament at school last year

I knew i would still put up Evie's stocking but found this one at Pottery Barn with a blonde angel on it. My cousin Paige had a great idea of letting Ramsey pick stuff out each year that she thinks Evie would like and same with us and we can fill this angel one and then give what we put in it to Toys for Tots or something like that. I thought that was a great idea so i had to get the stocking!

I stuck her other one in it for now until i get this one monogrammed.

I saw this on Pintrest. They had sticks in a flower pot and hung cards and stuff on them. I decided to do the same and hang Christmas cards on it with ribbon. I strung lights on the branches and it looks really pretty at night.

I put a tree in the dining room. We had several trees like this around our old house but i just didn't feel like putting them all up so we just have two. I used several things from our old tree to decorate this one.

Ramsey loves Bambi so i made her a forrest for our dining room table.

She sits her head on the table and says this is Bambi's mommy :)

Kitchen Table

I decided to let Ramsey decorate her own tree for her room. I had this one in the girls room last year but couldn't keep it the same. I put several special ornaments on it that the girls were given for their first Christmas. I let Ramsey pick out some things from Target and she helped me do it. She told me where to put them and she did a pretty good job :)

This week has been way to similar to last year. I had gone out of town with friends, and the girls were sick when i got home from my trip. I had bunco one night and then was decorating a table for our women's dinner at church. Once again, i had to much on my plate. Wednesday, the night Evie died was the first night all four of us were at home together eating dinner and the first night i had put them to bed in a week. I am thankful for that.

I opted out of many things going on this week. I have learned to just say no. I remember being so stressed out that week and regret not just enjoying and loving on my girls instead i was pleasing everyone else. My goal this season is to enjoy this time with my family and take it one day at a time. I miss Evie more than anything and i still can't believe it will be one year on Friday. Thank you for your continued prayers and support this week.

He did it!!

Jonathan finished the 1/2 marathon!

We are so proud of him. He injured his knee and it moved into his shin and then his achilles a couple days before the race. He was pretty worried about it and couldn't run all week but he finished and didnt really have much problem with it while he was running, thank goodness!

Downtown was crazy, i think there were about 15,000 participants in the race. It was a great atmosphere and Jonathan really enjoyed the run itself. They had live music set up in spots, you run down Beale Street, through Overton Park and St jude and then finish in Redbirds Stadium.

It was a great feeling to see all the Irun4 Evie shirts!!

Luke loves Evie!

Daddy's biggest fans

I tried to take pictures when i saw people in Evie's shirts, i didnt get everyone but here are a couple!

Then came Daddy!!

All smiles at the 5k mark!

Heading to Redbirds stadium to watch Rob come in

Here he comes!

He did awesome!! Finished in 1 1/2 hours!

Kyle and Rob H came in next

Evie's Littlest supporter, Grayson!

Where's Jonathan?

Great job!!!

Jonathan finished in 2 1/2 hours!!

He was a little embarrassed when we all cheered! ha

Way to go Kyle, Kristi and Jonathan!

Silly cousins

I know Evie is so proud of her dad and uncle!

I met some sweet blog readers! Thank you so much for coming and introducing yourselves! It was great to meet you and congrats on the race!!

Jonathans Family

My family

We are so thankful for all of our friends and family coming to support Jonathan!! Thank you all for buying shirts! We sold out and had to order more and sold out again. You have also raised over $6,000 for Make a wish!!! We are very humbled and grateful for your support!

Several of you have sent pics of you wearing Evie's shirt so please keep doing that i would love to post them!!

Thanksgiving

We had Jonathans mom and brother over for lunch and had a great time. The funniest part of the day was when we were playing in the leaves in the front and i forgot Ramsey didnt have a diaper or panties on and she was sitting in the leaves and stood up and said theres a leaf in my boooty... then reached back and pulled it out. haha

we need to be working on her cheeeeeese!
sweetness
Not sure if this is the sneaky leaf or not..ha
Friday we left for Nashville for the weekend with my moms family.

We had a great trip and Evie was with us the whole day.

We always think of Evie when we see crosses in the sky and this one was outside my aunts front door the whole day :)

Everyone was able to come except my cousins John and Josh.

Harrison and Ramsey were buddies.

We stayed the weekend and the girls shopped, the grandparents and kiddos went to the zoo and the boys played golf. We left Saturday and this is pretty much what the majority of us did the whole way home...

We stopped in Lexington to check on Rob and Ambers farmhouse.

Ambers grandmother grew up here and Rob and Amber got married here.

Jonathan and my dad decided to try shooting things, no such luck :)

Ramsey and Nana found Mr. Wades old train set

Thank you for all or your encouragement from the last few posts. We did well during Thanksgiving. Being with our family on Thanksgiving was wonderful. My cousin told me that her son said when he gets to heaven the first person he is going to find is Evie and Kennedy gave Ramsey a sweet note she wrote in homeroom with encouraging scripture all over it. These things make my days so much better and are so encouraging. I am so thankful for my family!

Happy Thanksgiving sweet girl!

We are so thankful for the time we had with you!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Rejoice always, pray continually,

give thanks in all circumstances,

for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus."

Isn't God funny? I tend to think so sometimes.

I have been harping about the holidays and literally wrote my last post and then headed to hear Lysa Terkeurst at Central Church and what did she speak about you ask... Exactly what i needed to hear to get me through the holidays and missing Evie one year later.

I never heard of her before but she has written several books and is a wonderful speaker. How someone can speak for over an hour with no notes and doesn't lose my attention is beyond me.

Everything she spoke about spoke to me.

She said that God's will can be God doing three things for us:

God's Protection, Provision and Process

I have to know that God was protecting Evie by taking her to be with him. Protecting Evie from something painful or harmful. Isaiah 57 "...no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from Evil".

We know that Evie did not suffer, we know she fell asleep and woke up with Jesus, there was no crying there was no long suffering in the hospital. She went to be with the Lord the most peaceful way possible. Could God have been protecting her from something worse? I have to think so. I have been told this a million times, but in reality Evie had a great life. She was loved and everything was done for her, she never had to experience true pain, true heartache, she never knew the ugliness of this world. God's protection for sure. She went straight to a place where there is no pain, no sickness, no crying.

God's provisions could be providing something better for her. We go through trials and we wonder why God didn't allow us to win something or make a certain sports team ,etc. We have to think that there is a reason and we have to think that it is because he has something better waiting for us around the corner. Obviously, Heaven for Evie is better than this world. It is hard for me to think that God took Evie and now he has something better for me. I can't grasp that exactly and of course this doesn't have to pertain to me but i know for her this is true.

Our suffering could be just a part of his Process, a way of growing us and teaching us perseverance. "Finish the Race" as Evie's shirts say on them. For me, i have been through something i never thought i could actually survive through. If you had told me a couple years ago that I would bury my daughter, my thoughts would be, there is no way i could handle that, there is no way i would survive that. Yet here we are. We "survived" it, technically, every day is a struggle for us but we have to stay strong and persevere, especially for Ramsey.

I have three choices to make this holiday season

to Rejoice Always

to Pray Continually

to Be Thankful

I have to rejoice in the Lord for he is Good, Jeremiah 29:11 " For i know the plans i have for you declares the Lord,plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I have to remember to Pray, pray for strength and just continue to have a relationship with him. I have struggled to pray since Evie died, i have been angry and then i feel guilty and feel like i can't go to God with a problem or ask him for something because i just yelled at him, but that is what is so great about him. You can come to him with anything! I have to remember that.

I have to remember to be thankful. Thankful to God for giving me Evie, thankful for the most amazing 20 months of my life because of her, thankful for Jonathan and Ramsey and thankful for this baby we will meet soon.

What's been going on

Sorry for not posting in a long time!

The holidays have gotten here way to fast and i am not ready for them at all!

For now, we are trying to relax, princess style...

Enjoying some pedicures and a growing belly :)

Sorry Rams, princesses still have chores to do

We had thanksgiving with my dads family at our house Saturday, Ramsey decided to dress up for the occasion. Every night she changes into either this dress or her cinderella dress. She loves wearing her dresses

We are still seeing this stinker every other week. This is my favorite picture yet. This is baby's profile looking to your left with its mouth open. I am still doing progesterone shots every week and ultrasounds to check my cervical length every two weeks.

So far everything is looking great.

I still have no thoughts on whether its a boy or a girl.

We have definitely gotten more boy votes this time around. I guess we will see!

I have been sewing like crazy. I finished Ramsey's shower curtain the other day and have several projects for a couple people to do these next few weeks.

Jonathan and i finally decided to do something for the babies room. Right now it is a junk room filled with things that i have no clue where to put them! We antiqued this dresser he used in the fraternity house,we are going to use it as a changing table. I have never antiqued anything but it turned out ok. I think i got a little crazy with the sander but i'm pretty critical of anything i do. Maybe by the time the baby is a couple months old, it's room will be ready! ha I don't want to do neutral so i don't want to do anything until the baby gets here. I have picked out fabrics for a boy and a girl so at least i am on the right track :)

I took a picture of Ramsey's school picture, sorry for the bad quality. I love their school pictures. Look how much bigger she is from last year.

I can't believe thanksgiving is this week, the last holiday we spent with Evie. I remember it like it was yesterday. I cant believe we only had a couple more weeks to be with her. I am thankful for her life and the time we had her here with us but the more reality sets in, the harder it has been for us. This year has been a complete blur and i still can't believe it has been a year already. I am usually gearing up to decorate for Christmas and loved taking the girls to pick out our tree but nothing in me wants to do any of it this year. Someone asked me about Christmas cards the other day and i just don't know how i'm supposed to send out cards without Evie on them, It doesn't feel right. I sent ours out last year the week Evie died and some people got them after she died. I even think our card said something about having so much to be thankful for this holiday season, a little ironic.

I know all of these things don't matter and no one cares what i decide to do but i'm just talking, thats what this blog is for. My thoughts are all over the place. I am just overwhelmed and would rather hide in my closet than enjoy the holidays. I know i have to suck it up, it's not fare to Ramsey to not do what we have always done and keep traditions going for her. I know we will get through the holidays and everything else. I just have to stay focused on what matters the most and be thankful for our memories we have with Evie and all of the good times with her. I am sure thats what she would want for us.